After a commendable meeting of the minds, I am officially back on the market. Yes, I am a Single Lady once more. [insert: any verse from the song of the same title here]
This is the first time in 7.5 years of breakups to makeups that this separation feels final, and I find myself in uncharted waters: a single adult woman. The landscape is significantly different than that of when I was in high school, where a guy with a job at Popeye’s, a car and a high GPA would have piqued my seventeen year old interests, now I want more. Much more. And just as my pre-reqs have changed, as the “dating game”, and my skills are really rusty.
Being in a relationship made it so easy to be honest and I definitely got comfortable. But now, new men, new rules. I find myself oblivious and slightly annoyed by the meager attempts at jump starting dialogue. Questions regarding my tattoo, ethnicity, etc.. start to get tiresome very fast. Was dating always like this?
It feels like I am putting together a piece of furniture from Ikea and their damn German directions. Can someone please translate please?!
In an effort to understand things better, I consulted my local support group aka my friends. Severely of my friends encouraged trying internet dating.
Internet dating scares the hell out of me. You have no idea who you’re conversing with and I don’t want to end up on the side of a highway chopped to bits or something because these dating trolls can pinpoint your location using your IP addresses. Plus, I’ve seen Catfish. You can’t fool me.
And let’s be real. It feels like you’re giving up if online dating is even an option. Do people not go out and interact anymore? What happened to face to face titillation? Has social media killed real time engagements?
Plus, it still seems very taboo. As one friend noted, “There a lot of people dating online, whether it be Facebook or a real dating service. But the subject is so hush hush that it appears to be occurring far less than it is and thus still appears to be taboo.”
My best guy friend went as far as to drop the “found my wife online” card. One in a million aren’t favorable odds sir.
After countless suggestions to join the world of online dating, I decided to give it a go. Be a great way to knock the cobwebs off of my flirting and take my matured sense of wit for a whirl. What did I have to loose? Other than my pride and my life.
So I plunged head first into several different sites. Under a different name. In a different city. With a different computer. I am so not about this life.
The series of messages and correspondence I received were, for the most part, what I expected.
I got the line guys:
“Your name must be Internet because you’re what I’ve been searching for.”
Things that make no sense Vol. 1
Will not detail any grotesque examples
And straight basement creepers:
“How about you be the Naevia to my Crixus?”
Really? A Spartacus reference? Have a seat, on the floor, Indian style.
I lasted four days.
Call me old fashion, but there is nothing like the first encounter. You know, when you meet someone, and your energies get a feel for the others. Sparing of personalities through small talk and attraction. Eye contact. Taking the other person in. Plus, you see exactly what you’re getting. No Catfish allowed.
The online scene wasn’t as bad as I thought. Maybe because I didn’t last a week and walked away with my life.
I did take away some pearls for those interested in trying it out:
-You can live out whatever fantastical version of yourself you’d like without anyone calling you out on it.
-Egomaniacs are the cool kids of the webversphere.
The first two were funny but true. More realistic pearls:
– If you’re an introvert, online dating makes rejection not so painful.
-You are not the only one online dating. There are lots of people doing it in all sorts of ways.
– Be cautious but not paranoid.
– Fur hat+ red lips= Russian.
Have any of you tried online dating? What was your experience? Please drop a line in the comments section!!!
Be Extraordinary- Alyssa Peacock